What cause a miscarriage?

18:13:00

Obviously, with everything that's been going on I haven't been able to focus on anything fun at all. I'm still at that point where I can't really be bothered.

After my first miscarriage I cried for two weeks, it was the end of the world but then I got a positive test again and I moved on.

This time it's been so slow. It's like I'm in some kind of vacuum, and I don't know how to get out of it. There are so many people and events happening since the day I found out fetus had died that I just feel so disrespected. Like you should stop complaining from day one and move on. But it's different for everyone, isn't it. The hard part was not knowing, having all those really horrible symptoms until a week after we were told it's not viable. It was such a shock!

It has left me thinking about what causes these miscarriages. Normally I've been going on like before. Drinking my Pepsi until I no longer want it (miscarriages can be cause by caffeine), not minimised activities etc. But since this was planned from early September (I stopped taking the pill, stopped drinking, only had water) and we started trying in October (got pregnant according to doctor on the 27th of October) I felt my risks for one should been reduced.

Based on this, it really doesn't matter too much how you live. Yes a baby might be healthier the healthier you are, but if it's not meant to be a baby then you get a miscarriage.

With my first one it was very accidental. My contraceptives ran out and I got pregnant 2 days after, where I had started the tablets again. And we know that it's difficult having a good pregnancy if you are still on contraceptives. I continued for a week until I felt weird and a test came up positive. Knowing I've been taking anti-baby tablets did not make me feel great, that's for sure.

This time I've been very tired and mostly been sleeping. Before I knew I was pregnant - around 3-4 weeks Jesse got an abscess in his tooth. It was a lot of travelling, 12 hours in A&E and surgery.

He also needed a scan. They asked if I was pregnant, I said no. Which was stupid. We know that x-rays can in some cases cause miscarriage or birth defects. But it's obviously not been tested enough to have a scientific result or proof.

I was handed a lead vest, but it was really big, and the sides weren't covered. So when I sat down, my whole sides and stomach was exposed. I also had Jesse on my lap so I did get the full blast of it.

Being three days in hospital with him was extremely stressful. They never offered me food so I had nothing to eat. We were in a hospital further away so I had to be alone with him and never had chance to go to the shop as it was a 10 minute walk through the hospital from the children's ward. I wouldn't been able to leave Jesse alone.

Any of these things could naturally affected it, as the fetus died 10 days after. I won't know, but trying to find a cause is a lot more satisfying than not knowing if the problem is inside of me.



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